gör det ordentligt

Att ha åsikter och yttra dem kan uppröra en del människor. kanske inte så konstigt. detta inlägg skulle kunna uppröra en del. kanske för att det är ett känsligt ämne. vad vet jag. ska man tycka synd om alla som skär sig i armarna? alla som tar tabletter och alla som bryter armarna av sig själv för att det har så stora sår i själen? det är deras sätt att hantera det hela? vad ska man säga? GÖR DET ORDENTLIGT!
hittade en fin sida. "How to kill yourself like a man". där fanns utförliga instruktioner. så kör på det istället för det där tjejiga tramset med slöa rakblad och utgångna sömntabletter. min favorit var helt klart denna.

Lick a hooker's ass:

What you need: a hooker, $0.75.

How to do it: find a hooker and inquire about her "ass buffet." If she doesn't know what you're talking about, punch her. If she does know what you're talking about, she shouldn't charge you more than 75 cents to lick her ass. You may even get away with not having to pay her since technically it's not sex (unless you're gay, but I'm not sure if it counts if it's a woman). Fair warning: not paying a hooker is considered shoplifting. Once you've done the (mis)deed, you may want to have some alcohol nearby. Make sure it's something strong like turpentine, because you'll be tasting a mouth full of funk and hookers don't always shit properly depending on their clientele. The tingling feeling in your mouth means the disease is working. Just sit back and relax while your penis falls off and you break out in hives. Then just wait a few months and if the other diseases don't get to you first, the AIDS will. Talk about a cheap suicide! At 75 cents, you can't afford not to kill yourself!

That's it for now. Just remember: it's your suicide, have fun with it.

andra förslag fanns att tillgå om inte den skulle duga. 

Razor blade:

What you need: razor, neck.
How to do it: how many times have you tried to kill yourself with a razor blade by slashing up your wrists, only to be told "it's down the highway, not across the street"? Then you listen to this advice and cut up your arms like some amateur dipshit who doesn't know what she's doing. Your boyfriend dumped you. You can't go on because you're the only person who has ever been dumped and this is the most painful thing that has happened to anyone who has lived 14 consecutive years, so it's time for the solace only decapitation can bring you. Make sure to go all the way through the spinal column.


Strangle yourself:

What you need: hands.
How to do it: strangling yourself with your own hands has long been thought impossible because when your body stops getting enough oxygen, you pass out and start breathing normally again. Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing. You're the one who has to deal with the embarrassment of having the paramedics finding your dumb ass passed out on the floor in a puddle of your own drool, as they begrudgingly take you to the hospital where the doctors would be so disappointed that one of them might try to strangle you themselves. And if they don't, give me a call; I will. Even the late Vincent Price strangled himself to death. Either that or lung cancer, but I can't be bothered to look it up. Eat shit.


Eat a tub full of beans:

What you need: a tub, enough beans to fill said tub.
How to do it: just dig in, you chunky son of a bitch! Keep eating until you can't possibly eat anymore, then eat some more. Your gut will rupture and you will shit yourself. The cool thing about this method is that it's not only disgusting to clean up, but you'll probably be so bloated from the beans (choose Van Camp's by the way, not Bush's baked beans unless you like the taste of beans pickled in ball sweat) that you probably won't fit in the casket without some serious reconstructive surgery. Guess who's footing the bill for that one? That's right: friends and family. Just kidding. You have no friends.


vad finns det att förstå?

Men shit!

Var det allt ni kunde komma med?

Rory. hade följande att tillägga:


Vad bra att det hjälpte :)

Nanna hade följande att tillägga:

Tack för tipsen ? :D

2007-03-20 @ 21:52:48
URL: http://johannadahlberg.blogg.se
hanna hade följande att tillägga:

det var så lite så :P

2007-03-21 @ 00:07:25
URL: http://rya.blogg.se

Ju mer man tänker, ju mer inser man att det inte finns något enkelt svar.

Vem är du? (vem är jag, velande charader):
Kryssa här



I denna ruta finns det plats för just dina åsikter: